Dear Mom & Dad

I know why I couldn't sleep last night and had to seek the help of alcohol to get myself into deep sleep. The answer is simple: I miss my mom and dad who passed away in May and September respectively. A friend who lost his father once told me that it may take a long time to get over it. I wonder how long! Probably years!

I used to write to my parents ever since the day I left for college. They would start to get worried when they didn't receive any letter. Over two decades of writing home, the number of letters gradually dropped due to the busy schedule of my job or ...should I say the laziness of writing. I even missed out mother's day, father's day along with their birthdays sometimes. Now I realise how much I miss simple things like writing a letter to my parents as follows:

"Dear mom & dad,

How are you? I hope both of you are fine.........

All the best and take care.

Your son, ........"

The letters writing eventually evolved into phone calls as my dad had problem writing. I noticed his writing was getting worse each time he replied - spelling issues, canceling of words all over the letter, missing words, etc. Knowing that my dad was an English teacher, he would not do this kind of mistakes. Eventually I was told that his brain was shrinking. During the days of our phone calls, I was usually the one calling back home. My dad would call me only if there was a long period of silence from me and my parents started to get worried. Eventually, our conversation grew very simple and short as my mom didn't have much to talk about once my parents moved to Penang - no more gossiping with the neighbours...so, I had very little news about the neighbours, my parents' friends and their children. I remember that in one of our conversation, my dad told me, "Even if we have nothing much to talk, give us a call..hearing your voice is good enough". I wish I can hear their voice the way they longed to hear mine. I even miss simple phone conversation translated from Hokkien to English as follows:

"Daddy/Mommy, how are you? Have you taken your lunch/dinner? What are you doing? How's the weather?.......Take care. Bye."

My good bye would eventually became the last good bye to them.....