How She Felt?

I woke up this morning and suddenly I felt how my mom felt when she was alive - the pain she went through.

Losing her mom at the age of 11. His father got himself a second wife. I bet my mom felt abandoned by him because he must have spent most of the time with the second wife's family. I still remember very well what she told me when I made her angry when I was a boy - "If I die, then you'll know how suffer it is to live with a stepmother". Those days, I could only imagine the stepmother on TV especially the one from Snow White. Although not all stepmothers are cruel, I am sure that there are still some that cause havoc to the first wife's family members.

She was raised up mainly by her grandparents. Her only close family members are her grandparents, a brother and cousins. I can imagine how sad she was when her grandparents passed away. I still remember very well that she treated her cousins like brothers and sisters as she lost her own brother eventually.

Her relationship with her only brother broke down due to a misunderstanding. Throughout her life, I realise that she was always very sad when I had an argument with my sister. The fear inside her that our relationship would ended up like her brother and hers was very strong. She would break down and cry, begging us to stop fighting. I still remember the day she explained to me about her fear. I promised not to repeat the mistake. She only attended his funeral in 1980s. If they are both alive today, I would have brought them together to mend their relationship.

I'm sure all her suffering is over now. I hope she understands how much we love her. Even though she almost lost everything, she still has a family.

Great Distortion of Sonic Youth

I love the song from Sonic Youth's album, Dirty, called 100%. I think this is the greatest distorted sound ever produced that I have been in love for more than a decade. I was listening to NME Radio online, when 100% was played, it triggered me to search for the video clips. I came across the following video clip that I find very interesting and cool!!

Death Counter

I have been counting the number of death involving people I know this year. I still think this is the year of death, no matter how my friends deny it.

I lost 3 friends - Deh Koon (Jan), Soo Aun (April/May) and Makhzani (May).
I lost my own mother in May.
The mother of my close friend, Wen Shyang also passed away in June, 2009.

The counter has reached 5, excluding Michael Jackson, of course.

The number has never reached so high in my life before this year. Something must have gone wrong this year!! I really hope the death counter will stop increasing for the rest of the year 2009. At least, don't involve people I know!!